How to help your Year 11 teen avoid burnout
Is your Year 11 teen tired, demotivated and emotional?
It might be that the pressure of the summer exams is becoming too much for them.
Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. All day at school, they are being reminded of the importance of these exams – there are before school interventions, lunchtime interventions, after school interventions. And then they come home and there’s homework and revision timetables. They are not seeing their friends as much. They have less time for sport and hobbies.
Yes, it’s short term. But for your teen to perform at their best in the summer exams, it’s so important that they get the right balance of study and rest.
The teens most likely to suffer from burnout are the sensitive, conscientious ones. The irony is that when teachers are nagging the class to work harder, those that are working the hardest are often the ones who take it to heart.
These teens are the victims of the 3 Ps – people pleasing, perfectionism and procrastination.
This pattern can continue into adulthood (take it from somebody who knows from personal experience!) Social conditioning can lead teens to believe that they need to put the desires and needs of others before their own wellbeing and that they need to be perfect in order to be liked or loved.
It’s so important to help teens to recognise these traits in themselves so that they can notice when they come up and have choices around how to respond. Learning how to say no to things in a truthful and authentic way is such a gift for their future.
So, how can you help your teen to avoid burnout?
1. Help them to set their own goals.
Every teacher is focused on their subject – they will provide long lists of extra reading and extra practice that will enable your teen to excel. But it simply isn’t possible for your teen to do everything that every teacher in their life suggests. Let your teen set their own priorities. Which subjects are the most important for them to get to where they want to go after the GCSEs? Show them that it’s ok to prioritise those subjects.
2. Show them where they have choices
I have found this question to be extremely useful when in deciding my priorities – What are you saying no to if you say yes to this? For example, if your teen says yes to revising each subject equally, are they then saying no to getting the grade 9 they really want for Maths?
3. Help them to clear the energy between home and school
School can be a less than easy environment for sensitive teens and many will find that their social battery is at its lowest when they first get home from school in the afternoon. This low mood can continue throughout the evening if it is not cleared.
Encourage your teen to consciously clear this energy when they first get home from school to reset their nervous system – a walk or a shower to “clear” the day can change your teen’s state, enabling them to choose how they want to feel for the rest of the evening.
4. Timetable the fun stuff first.
When creating revision timetables, timetable the fun stuff first. Make sure that your teen spends at least 5 minutes per day doing something that brings them joy. This will then become a daily reminder of the bigger picture – a reminder that there are other things in life other than just exams.
As adults, we often tell ourselves that we have no time for hobbies (I have been so guilty of this!) But one thing I do know for certain is that I don’t ever want my own teens to think that this is a normal way to live. If we don’t teach them to make the time for joy now, when will they ever make the time?
5. Encourage them to get some natural light each morning
This will set their circadian rhythm, making it easier for them to sleep (even 5 minutes will make a difference).
6. Avoid caffeine and energy drinks in the afternoon
Your teen feels tired, they drink caffeine to feel awake and then can’t sleep. Avoiding caffeine in the afternoon can combat this.
7. Encourage them to wind down one hour before bed
They are probably used to setting an alarm to wake up at a certain time in the morning, but how about setting an alarm for stopping work in the evening. That final hour before bed (off screens and preferably in a different room to where they have been studying) will give their brains the signal that it is time to wind down, enabling their nervous system to reset so that they will be more resilient to challenges the following day.
8. Encourage movement.
A quick brisk walk or run will enable your teen to be more creative and better able to solve problems when they sit back down at their desk.
Your teen’s wellbeing is important. If your teen would like some coaching to help them create balance between study and work, take a look at my coaching services.
