3 reasons why fear is a terrible motivator for teens
The countdown is on. Your teen might be seeing signs all over the school counting down the number of days left until the exams. Every teacher they see will be reminding them. Your teen will most likely be thinking about their upcoming exams 24/7 (even if they don’t appear to be).
The positive intention behind these reminders, of course, is to increase motivation. But for many teens, it has the opposite effect.
Here’s why.
Reason 1 - Teens need to engage their “human brain” rather than their “lizard brain” to do well in exams
Our body’s stress response is designed to help us survive danger. In a genuinely dangerous situation (such as being chased by a tiger), hormones would be sent around our bodies which would cause the following symptoms:
- Our hearts would pump more blood to our muscles so that we could run faster
- Our breathing would get shallower and quicker to get more oxygen to our heart and muscles
- Our muscles would tense to make us more alert
- The blood would rush from our stomach and intestines, perhaps causing us to feel sick.
This is called the fight, flight or freeze response and the part of our brain that is responsible for this is the amygdala (or lizard brain). Its main job is to warn us of acute danger.
But here’s the thing.
Your teen is not being chased by a tiger.
Your teen is not in any life-threatening danger.
Your teen is sitting an exam.
And for this, they need a different part of their brain known as the prefrontal cortex (or human brain).
The prefrontal cortex helps your teen to:
- See a situation clearly
- Think rationally
- Make smart decisions.
This is the part of the brain that needs to be functioning highly during an exam.
The problem is that when the lizard brain is activated, it overwhelms the human brain. And once this happens, it can take up to two hours for the human brain to re-engage.
So, you can see why it is less than helpful for your teen to be in a state of fear during exam time!
Reason 2 – Your teen will be far more successful if they focus on success, rather than fear of failure
Fear motivation is the internal process of moving AWAY from what you don’t want (i.e. failing an exam)
I’m sure you have heard the phrase, “you get what you focus on”. The problem is that if your teen is focused on moving away from failure, they are no longer focusing on success.
The key is to help them move TOWARDS success, rather than AWAY from failure.
The way to do this is to get them to visualise what success will look like. What will they see? How will they feel? Encourage them to act “as if” they have already successfully passed the exam. Their unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what they have visualised.
By visualising success, your teen is giving a direct instruction to their unconscious mind that they are successful.
And the same works in reverse.
Reason 3 – Chronic stress can lead to long-term health problems for your teen
If we teach our teens that fear is a normal and healthy way to motivate ourselves and others, when will this end? After GCSEs come A-levels and after A-levels comes university or the workplace.
Many adults are permanently stuck in the fight/flight/freeze response and this can lead to health problems such as:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Digestive problems
- Headaches
- Muscle tension and pain
- Heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke
- Sleep problems
- Weight gain
- Memory and concentration impairment
It’s so important to teach our teens at an early age how to manage life’s stresses AND be successful by creating healthy boundaries.
For tips on how to keep your teen calm during exam season, check out last week’s blog:
