Today marks the end of anti-bullying week but it certainly doesn’t mean that we should stop talking about it.
Unfortunately, we cannot change the behaviour of others. Wherever we go in life, there will be people who think that it is acceptable to try to gain power over others in a manipulative or cruel way.
Often this can lead to the erosion of self-esteem and the forming of limiting beliefs such as “Nobody likes me” or “I’m not good enough” which can be carried around for years afterwards (far too many years in my case).
This is why I am so passionate about helping teenagers to equip themselves with the tools they need to recognise bullying for what it is – not a reflection on them but a reflection on the person who is inflicting the cruelty.
As adults we can:
- Make sure that we listen. It’s sometimes easy to dismiss the behaviour as “just banter,” which leaves the teen feeling isolated and alone.
- Make sure that we tell them often how amazing they are and be specific about all the ways in which they are amazing
- Help our teens focus on what they CAN influence, rather than what they can’t. They CAN turn off social media, they CAN turn their focus onto a hobby or a sport…
- Encourage them to think about why the other person is behaving as they are – perhaps because it makes them feel better about themselves or they are trying too hard to “fit in”. Recognising this can allow a teen to let go of any negative feelings that they are turning on themselves.
It is so important that we put our teens back in the driving seat of their own lives.
If your teen could do with some support, I offer 1:1 self-esteem coaching sessions for teens. I can work with them to release old wounds or unhelpful beliefs and recognise their own unique brilliance.
One or two sessions is often enough for your teen to have a brand new outlook.
Book an appointment to chat to me here: